EROTIC NOVEL WRITING REQUIRES RESEARCH. DOES SEX SELL? FIND OUT IN THE MINIVAN AFFAIRS

Two exhausted moms commiserating over coffee and the lack of creative time wrote The Minivan Affairs as a joke.  Welcome Anna Jones and Jennifer Clarke. 

 

What’s the fun part of writing and why?

We began writing to escape the mundane mom-life. The fun part is imagining all the adventures that await. We wrote The Minivan Affairs to keep our sanity.

What’s the most difficult part of writing and why?

Finding time to write is the hardest part! With three kids each we have to steal moments.

How do you get to know your readers? What do you learn from your readers?

Our readers have a great sense of humor and understand that romance sometimes means funny.

Blurb for The Minivan Affairs

From PTA bake sales to sexy lingerie…suburbia takes on a whole new meaning. Middle-aged minivan moms, Anna Jones and Jennifer Clarke began their friendship back in college. These days, they struggle with the daily demands of parenthood, unhappy marriages, and unfulfilled dreams of being professional writers. During a weekly coffee date in their suburban neighborhood, their conversation turns from the standard husband and children anecdotes to writing erotic novels.  Between soccer games and school carpool, the wannabe authors each write a dirty chapter but discover steamy bedroom scenes escape their grasp. Their sexless marriages offer no inspiration, so in the name of “research,” they embark on a two-month-long carnal adventure. Salsa dancing, a trip to Italy, and a hot barista get words flowing on the page, but while suburbia isn’t what it used to be, neither are their lives at home…or their friendship. Will Anna and Jennifer find what they’re after or wish they’d never gone looking?

The Minivan Affairs is a stand-alone novel.

 

What inspired this particular story?

We were two exhausted moms commiserating over coffee and the lack of creative time. As a joke, we decided to write about it.

What makes you laugh out loud? Walking in high heels past 45. Wobble, wobble.

What makes you angry? Dirty socks left in my kitchen!

Why did you choose the cover concept you did? The publisher chose our cover.

Who would you recommend this book to and what should readers be aware of before reading it? This book is for exhausted moms everywhere craving minivan escapes. The title tells it all, so if affairs bother you, this isn’t your book (though we think we pull it off without harm). Plus, it’s dirty.

Tell us something about yourself and allow us to get to know you. Anna and Jennifer are writing partners, conspirators, and friends.

Did you tell friends and family that you were writing a book? They all know we are writers, but we haven’t told the PTA, and our moms don’t know about The Minivan Affairs.

What do you want your readers to take away from your books? We love getting messages saying, “Your book made us laugh out loud.”

Where do your story ideas come from? If they come to you in the middle of the night, do you get up and write them all down? We are in bi-focal world. Writing in the middle of the night no longer happens. Stories come from our coffee dates.

Do you find it easier to write from a male or female point of view? Female. “I don’t know how you guys walk around with those things.”-Elaine from Seinfeld

Why do you write what  you write? Our publisher called it erotic romance, but we call it a dirty rom-com!

Okay, you’re casting the movie version of your novel—who would you choose for the main characters? We’re talking dream cast. Melissa McCarthy and Amy Schumer. How can we get it to them?!

What’s your favorite part of being an author? Writing with my best friend.

If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why? We both want a house that cleans itself.

 Any tips to share with fellow authors/aspiring authors? Sex sells.

 What is the theme of this book? At the heart of the book, it’s about friendship.

 Tell us three things we’d find if we looked under your heroine’s bed? Dust bunnies, fun toys, and extra batteries.

 

Speed Round

Favorite movie: Bad Moms
Worst date ever: Burger King drive through

Your character’s worst date ever: Eggrolls on the floor
Favorite color: Hot pink
Stilettos or flipflops or sneakers: Orthopedic heels
Coffee or tea: Red wine
Ebook or audiobook or paperback: Paperback
Pencil or pen: Pencil

Favorite song: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Streak or not: Streak

Favorite dessert: Champagne and strawberries

Favorite junk food: Pizza and ice cream

Favorite thing to do to relax: Adventures in the minivan

Champagne or gin: Both but not together!

Paranormal or Historical: Historical

Wonder Woman or Top Model: Wonder Woman, of course!  

Favorite TV show: Good Mom’s

Hot or cold: Hot and sexy!

POV: First person

I’d die if I didn’t have: Coffee

My character would die if she/he didn’t have: Her best friend

Excerpt from  The Minivan Affairs

 

The unexpected pregnancy didn’t throw her off her game. She scheduled a C-section and hired a nanny. When maternity leave ended, her heart changed. After pumping in the bathroom for a week, she quit. Since then, she committed completely to parenting full-time. Now, she needs more out of her life. Hell, we both want more. We long to be writers, paid writers.

“Why is it so hard?” I twirl my hair and do not expect an answer.

“What?”

“Making money.”

She smiles and adjusts her scarf. “Ever heard of the dinosaur porn books?” You can always count on Jennifer to steer the conversation somewhere weird and taboo.

“Dinosaur porn?” My eyebrows rise, and I stop twirling my hair.

“Yeah, people doing the nasty with dinosaurs.”

“I don’t get it.” I grimace and sketch again. “How would it even work?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know, dinosaur’s things are huge.”

“Dinosaur’s what?”

I blush. “Their, you know, tools.”

“Tools?” She raises her eyebrows and smiles at me. “You mean dicks or cocks.”

Heat rushes over my face. Jennifer likes to tease me about those dirty words. I can’t say them and blush when she does.

“Who knows, dino dicks must be giant. Maybe it’s part of the allure.”

“Who wants to read about that stuff?”

“People obsessed with dinosaurs.” She shrugs. “A friend sent me this link to an article about two young college students making over a hundred grand a year writing dinosaur porn books.”

“Really?” My eyes narrow. Jennifer’s lost her mind.

“Yes.” She leans into the conversation. “So I did some research and read a bunch of popular smut books.”

“You read dinosaur porn?”

“No, not that crazy stuff. I read romance books, but there are different levels of smut. Weird kinks, like dino sex, and then there’s regular porn or softer stuff like women’s romance fiction. I did an incognito Google search. Holy taco, there’s a ton of shit out there. A lot of it isn’t well written and people still buy it.”

She rewraps her scarf with a knot around her neck. “We could write it with our eyes closed. One book I read was pure drivel, a sex scene, and back to more bullshit. Pretty soon I skipped through the sex parts because they got boring. How many ways can someone write ‘he loved her so very well.’”

I listen as she continues. Her proposal baffles me. Is this a good cocktail story, or does she want to do this? Contemplating writing pornography makes me want to hide under the table.

“Romance books often publish with specialty companies, agents, and everything you can imagine. We’d need killer pen names to hide our real identities.”

“True.” I nod my head in agreement. What the heck? She wants us to write an insane porn book? We both sip our drinks in silence and give each other awkward smiles. We avoid one another’s eyes at the prospect of writing erotica.

The conversation returns to normal mom issues. “Luke works late every night. They treat him as if he’s the only lawyer at the firm. There is always some crisis he alone can solve. I guess a twenty-year commitment to a company and full partnership isn’t enough to give him decent hours. His schedule gets worse each week.” My teeth clench together, and I mark out my drawing.

“Jake sits on the couch, scratches his ass, and plays on his phone. He’s home, but what good does it do me? My marriage lacks excitement. Jake stomps around angry but won’t talk about anything in his life. He hasn’t attempted to touch me in over seven months.”

“Seven months? That’s nuts.” I pause to remember the last time I had sex with Luke. Holidays and birthdays flash through my mind. I can’t recall a single time in recent history. “Feels like forever for us, too. He’s never around anymore to do it with. When he comes home, we do family stuff: house chores, errands, take care of the kids.” My phone pings with a text message from a colleague. “Shoot. What time does Party City close?”

“Nine. What now?”

“I forgot tomorrow is primary color day. I’m supposed to dress up as yellow.”

Jennifer laughs. “You probably can find a yellow T-shirt somewhere in your house.”

“Maybe, but you know how my fellow teachers react. They expect me to be covered head to toe in yellow. I need a yellow hat and yellow pants, too. Whatever.” I sigh. “How’s the new soccer coach? Any better than the last one?”

Our conversation plays through the little boring details of our lives: flu virus going around again, carpooling, making dinner, sick to death of grocery shopping, and on it goes. Under the mundane discussion, the idea of writing porn haunts me. A sexy tingle spreads through my body. My child-free hour with Jennifer expires, and I stop at Party City before heading home.

 

Anna and Jennifer’s socials and contacts 

Find us at www.minivanaffairs.com and on Insta @minivanaffairs

We are on Goodreads too: www.goodreads.com/book/show/57285863-the-minivan-affairs

Buy links for The Minivan Affairs

Amazon: www.amazon.com/Minivan-Affairs-Anna-Jones/dp/1509234764

Wild Rose Press: www.thewildrosepress.com/book-post/the-minivan-affairs

Bookshop: bookshop.org/books/the-minivan-affairs/9781509234769

 

 

 

 

 

      

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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